Bottles and Tears
by StarWarsGirl959
Summary: Padmé fights emotionally and physically as she deals with Anakin's terrible addiction: Alcoholism


Bottles and Tears

"Alcoholics and addicts hurt others because their addiction comes first before anything. And if our addiction is our very top priority, then we will do anything it takes to use the way we want, even if it means, lying to you, stealing from you, manipulating you, deceiving you,abusing you, and breaking your heart."

Chapter 1

Skywalker Residence: Theed, Naboo.

Night time fell upon Naboo, its midnight blue sky twinkling with stars. Out on the balcony, Padmé Amidala Skywalker was lost in her thoughts. She just put Luke and Leia to bed and she just needed time to think about what was going on in her life. Luke and Leia...her precious babies. They were so innocent and pure and she loved them so. She vowed to protect them when they were born into the world from the villainous and filth in the universe. But one thing she couldn't protect them from was their Father.

She couldn't even protect her self, let alone her precious ones. Tears rolling down her sucked in cheeks, Padmé choked back a sob. She put her hands on the railing to steady herself and she just stared at her hands. Her delicate fingers were now battered and bruised from a fight she had with her husband the previous night. She confronted him about his...problem, and he just got angrier. She never seen him this furious before. His eyes were bloodshot and they had pure anger in them. She was afraid of him, and they both knew it.

She remembered him grabbing her forcefully and her trying to fight him off. It ended with bruised fingers and a slap in the face. She then remembered being pushed to the floor with much strength, her head hitting the glass coffee table. She remembered Leia standing in the doorway with her white nightgown on looking sadly at her mother. She was afraid, but her features didn't show it. She just had deep pity in her brown chocolate eyes.

Anakin continued his tirade oblivious to his daughter standing in the doorway. He growled in frustration at his wife's accusations and he hurled a glass vase to the wall making Leia jump.

"Daddy!" she cried. "Please stop...you hurt mommy!"

Anakin just stared at her,his eyes narrowed flashing with anger, balled fists at his sides. He then looked at his wife who was pushed into the coffee  
table. He didn't care, he just didn't. He abruptly left the room brushing passed Leia. Leia ran after him her little feet thudding on the wood floors down the corridor her brown hair flying behind her. By the time she got to the door, it was  
slammed in her face. Her Daddy was gone...

Coming back to the present Padmé took a deep shuddering breath and started back into the palace,closing the double french doors softly. She didn't know how long she could live here. Her finances were low and she couldn't pay the bills. She tried scraping up some credits to try and pay half but it always wasn't enough. She leaned against the doors and just fell to the ground putting her head on her knees. She couldn't do this anymore. Not with him. She just couldn't.

She couldn't even feed her family properly, when she did have some credits for food she made sure Luke and Leia had a meal first. She would worry about herself later. By now she was frail and when he would lash out at her she was afraid he'd break her. She knew what the cause was...it was the damn war. She knew it effected him. She knew it. He would have nightmares and she would always sooth him telling

him it was alright and that he was in her arms and not in the middle of a war zone. But he broke so much he started relying on alcohol. Rum and vodka bottles would be everywhere, cluttering the counter tops and shelves. Padmé would always walk in from a long day at the senate with her children in the evening. She had just picked them up from day care. He would be there passed out on the couch with no shirt on. He looked miserable and she couldn't help but to feel sick. She made sure the twins didn't see their father like that so she went the back way up the stairs. She remembered the day she had lost her job. She got laid off, cut from the senate. She had no credits. The only thing that had supported them was the few hundred credits they got when Anakin went on missions. He agreed to split the pay between them, which was the only best thing he had done for them. But it never was enough. She had her children and they came first. They had to eat, be clean, and get proper education. She would have found another job, but she wanted to be home with her babies. She could never trust him around them. She would always ask them if they got hurt by him and they always shook their heads no. She checked them anyways just to make sure. Her precious jewelry from her Mother was always disappearing and she knew Anakin had sold them for credits. They were precious to her. The only things she had left of her Mother, for she was gone. But Anakin didn't care. He relied on alcohol and that was all he cared about. Things around the house would have gone missing day by day, week by week, and she knew if she confronted him he would get angry and take it out on her. Many of the walls were punched through from the times he didn't want to hit her but he hit the wall instead. Many times when be would shout at her, Luke and Leia would hide. She told them to do that, and they knew why. Because with him, shouting always lead to physical abuse.

Her thoughts drifting again, Padmé shuffled to her on suit bathroom and put on her white sleek nightgown. She then looked in the mirror at her reflection. She didn't recognize herself. She was a woman that was battered and broken. Her cheeks were sucked in from the lack of food and nutrition and her eyes looked dull with dark circles under her eyes. She had purplish little bruises on her head along with red bruises on her neck that appeared when he got rough during sex. Her skin was pale and she was deathly frail. She felt sorry for herself. She then looked at the tiny curve of her stomach and rested her hand there. Yes she was pregnant , and she loved this baby with all her heart. She vowed to her little one that everything will be alright and that she would take care of him/her. She turned off the bathroom light and shuffled to her canopy bed and got on her side. She would cry her self to sleep, like she has done every night for the past 3 years. She knew Anakin would be stumbling in after the hours of the night and he would fall on his stomach already passed out.

 _I have to do this. I can't live like this anymore._

She then made up her mind that she wasn't going to take his abuse any longer. Pregnant or not she's was leaving him, and she would take her precious children with her too. Then he would wake up to an empty house with a cruel headache regretting his mistakes as a husband and Father. Hopefully then he would realize he lost his family to bottles and tears.


End file.
